Writer's own thoughts!

Once a blonde girl sang song by the seashore, Now, she writes dark lyrics for the gone people, Once she was into white and black spectrum, She wore royal navy blue. Now she wears colors of hue. Those were the color of hurdles that were put on her, She was chained to her death in the death-chamber, Amber like her cheeks were fainted pale in the cruelty of cold winter. She stays between the greys now, declining all the binaries. Nothing is too bad; nothing is too good. But can love be relative? Or, is it eternal? The wounds are eternal for sure. But, what about the subconscious  memories that lie beneath the surface  like an undercurrent in the deep blue sea?! She once wore blue, Now she herself became a tragic deep sea. An ocean of blue grief passes in her body like never ending currents, She does not know where the shore is. She keeps surfing. Surfing in the deep blue ocean of grief. Grief does not knock. It arranges itself beneath the floorboards of breath. Folded carefully, ...

  The handpicked flower doesn’t know it has died.... it still leans into the warmth of a borrowed palm, still believes the sky is close, that thirst is only a pause before rain. Its fragrance keeps speaking, long after the stem has forgotten its roots, long after the soil has closed its mouth and refuses to answer. Petals rehearse memory, not loss.... they soften, they bruise, they fall without ever naming the violence that called it love. If death is distance, then the flower is innocent: it does not measure absence, It does not recognize abuse, it does not accuse the hand. It only fades, thinking this quiet allure is rest. Thinking this dusky mist is blessed. ©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy  Time Frame: 8 am, Morning, Tea, Officer's mess

 You don't pluck flowers that you like, You let them bloom, shine and thrive  under the sunlight. But, one day, you thought of them to preserve, Since that day began their decay and destruction. The bloomed flowers in your vase aren't the blossomed ones, They are the cursed flowers whose doom was written by you, The soon to be forgotten ones. But, you refused their dismissal, So, you pluck them at their peak with buds, Thinking they would die anyways sooner or later. But, what you did was inhibiting their natural growth, You dimmed their potential-  Their renewal. A flower nipped in the bud could not grow because of you, Oh, so aweful! The pricking soul flustered with possession.  Now, the petals fall off- one by one, And, with each fall - It gives a reminder, Reminds of decay- Of great souls,  Of spontaneous presence, Of pleasure of being seen, But, what's visible might not always be felt and understood!  Reminds the omnipotent essence of beauty- That just...

  My lips ache as if they want to be bitten  and smitten in your love and admiration. My hips swirl in ache as if they want to twirl  around you, dance in motion. My heart is in ache as if it doesn't know where   it belongs, to whom, My eyes are in pain, they are numb and sore. They say your eyes are beautiful like droplets of dews, Like diamonds in the sky. But, only a few knows how much tears it shed, Shed like an ocean. I have cried in pain like a destitute losing all her belongings, I have cried in pain like a beggar begging for an alms of love and warmth. I have cried like a Jew, a refugee Muslim for a bit of shelter in a foreign land, I have cried like a blind person for a bit of compassion and an ounce of aid. I have cried and whimpered in pain like an impaired person for quick recovery, I have cried like an infant hungry for love and needing to cling to somebody. I have cried an ocean for my lost ones whom I loved dearly, I have cried in agony, realizing...

 Oh, I regret from the bones of my ribs  that I lost a gentle love from a gentle man  living overseas far away. In another continent...  In a distant land,  My love has flown distantly so far away! I lost him in the wake of time,  I lost him due to my negligence,  I lost him for unforeseen reasons,  I lost him because I had to survive...!  Do you understand  That, I am both in charge and not in charge?! Do you recognize the cruelty of fate?! I lost a gentleman in the ungentle period of my life,  Now when everything is in order without chaos,  When time is alright,  I can't and couldn’t find another  gentle love from a gentleman like you,  Oh, my damn regrets! So awful I am in love,  Fate couldn’t replace what it took away. Damn, regrets!  A gentleman is rarely found,  Rarely born and raised,  A gentleman like you is rarely available,  Oh, how could fate betray!  ©® Farheen Akter Bhui...

 Hey, Cinderella,  If you are feeling lonely and succumbed by numbness,  It's your own battle,  You'll need to fight alone.  If you are weary and in despair,  Hopeless in love, life and joy,  It's your own battle to fight alone.  People will stay in your most illuminating era, When you shine bright and split lights,  But, only a handful will stay with you in your darkest time.  Hence, you shine bright for those who sit alone sad in the dark night.  You are their monsoon in the heavy rain, A brave knight, Savior to save them from the succumbing dark night, You become their illuminated lighthouse in the darkness,  You know how it feels,  You recognize their dark shadow side and stay until there is light.....  All night!  Till there is hope at the end of the tunnel,  Till there is a sprinkle of light, Till all night owls fly away,  Till all the bats turn their wings away,  Till all the growling dogs s...

 Who says love is blind?! Love is a test, A test if endured you continue loving  Otherwise, that same love converts into hatred and indifference. Who says love is all consuming?! Sometimes, it devours and transforms. Love is indeed, transformative. If you evolve in love then you succeed  in being a complete human being,  If you remain unevolved you stay revolving- Around materialistic ideals,  And, superficial idealisms,  You will stay incomplete if love doesn’t teach you to adjust and transform your bond into a shared beauty. Love is a surgical process of your soul- A metamorphosis.  You need to cut your soul open to another for you to evolve and heal, Cut open the wounds you hide,  Be vulnerable and spill aches that lie beneath- You can't be rigid and flaky  If you want to be loved,  You can't be closed off,  If you want some one to let in... But, fear drives love away, Because, you know what a weak insecure  person can do to...

 I wish I could see one glimpse of yours. Once again, I would see you from a distance. Not lay a finger on you, nor breath close to you, Nor would I touch your hands, cross my fingers with you, Entangle you with me, Because, I know distance is the best gift for you that I can present, A curse to me and a blessing to you is this thousand crores of distance, I wish I could keep you, As you are locked in the chambers of my heart, I wish..................... .....................................................! You are a distant comet to me, A dusty rusty mist that I cannot catch or see, You are so far away. Do I always chase the unavailable and the unattainable? Do I idealize love? Exaggerate? You are now an illusion to me,  but once you were my reality that was shattered with the cruelty of fate, Our fatalistic lives, I wish I could revert back to the golden times and hold you tight. Kiss you harder, Keep your moon face resting in the  palms of my hands. I wish you were in...

 Champions don't sway under any emotional burdens. I don't want to explore anything novel anymore, I want to cuddle the familiar, Smell the fragrance of the familiarity, That old dewy smell, Adore the innocence in the smile, In the morning sunshine. I don't want to unveil any hidden curtains, My soul is tired of exploring the unknown, I want my known world to return! The world I was introduced to! The comforting zone,  The ease of the habituated comfort  outweighs the thrill of the new, Anything new means risk, My soul can't take anymore risks, I don't want to run away, I wanna stay, Stay in your arms, Hold you tight, That familiarity haunts me,  Gives me nightmares, I don't want to lose you, But, each time I lose you in the cruelty of time! I am a champion in worldly affairs but a loser in love! A protagonist in daily life,  But a jew bereaving my heaven and safe haven_ my lost lands, I know nobody will love me like you did, I know I lost it forever and my grie...

 Men's and Women's worlds are different, And, it will remain different. Yet, men and women combine their journey  to integrate something more beautiful, Either converge and build something unique, Or, infuse more difference and indifference. Men are from Mars, The warriors who are always engaged in war zones, Survival and responsibilities,  With other brothers fighting for life and for good, Women are from Venus, Their perspectives are different than their divine counterparts, Women have a larger than life emotional inner world, Where they are content with few people in their lives, They take pride in— Quality over quantity.  They count on blessings over benefits. Their inner circle is rich in bonding and metaphors. Not superficial, not profit-based,  Their identity is emulsified and solidified by  the deep surface they dive into, Whereas men thrive outwardly, Their outer world is rich with the combination  of deep bonds and superficial connections, Th...

I made you the man you are today, You depleted the woman I was.  And, yes, if you say you made me  the woman I am,  You are correct!  You've filled me with inner love that I lost  loving another with my entire existence, my whole life!  See, depletion is sometimes beautiful but not eternally.  In depletion do we find ourselves and restore the broken pieces.  Find what was lost.  In depletion, we start seeking from ourselves what we cannot find from others. Depletion is another form of completion.  Just another phase of the coin,  One day, I'll be complete after the period of depletion.  I know the end is near. ©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy  Time Frame: 9.10 am, Tagar, MIST

 In another timeline,  In another realm, You were in love while I was lying in deathbed,  Playing hide and seek with the dead and ruins. In another timeline,  In another occasion,  Our roads never crossed together,  We never saw each other's smiling face.  Nor did we bother to collide in.  In another timeline,  You were sulking your face deep into another's chest while I was running.... Running from another's suffocating arms, Only to remain lonely. In another timeline,  In another phase of life, You are chasing something else,  I am looking for stability... In another lifetime, perhaps,  We will lock our hands, fill the space  with each other's fingers and cross paths again, Maybe, that day you will kiss me longer  and give me a deep neck scar.  Perhaps, in that parallel world,  Without any doubts or confusion- I will stay. I will stay with you, No distractions would then sway! Perhaps, then, we will be ins...

 Hey, Cupid, you are wandering around the Garden of Eden for a while now, The roots are growing, so the leaves of the hazelnut tree, Oh, you with hazelnut-colored eyes, One glance of yours is enough to consume all of me! I am a spotted butterfly wandering lonely, I want you to pick a flower for me! I am confused whose necter might taste sweeter? The blooming one or the already bloomed? The silent ache in my heart beats around the bushes, Oh, I can't choose! Oh, I don't know which direction to go! Which path to take? Where might there be peace and delight? Oh, Cupid the god of love,  Please, choose better for me! Cupid smirked with a straight face. So, you want a perfect love filled with the sweetness of heavenly nectar? Oh, nothing is perfect, nothing is sweet, Sometimes it is bittersweet. Sometimes poisonous yet addictive, It's entirely up to you to select and adapt. I cannot do it for you! Complexity may attract us, but  It's simplicity that keeps us. Complexes may in...

 It's all in my head and I am tired of these psychological warfares,  You ain't existent in my life but yet you stay 24/7 in my head,  I imagine scenarios that's never going to happen,  Nor do you will chase me so do I.  Is there any full-stop of this day dreaming and utopias?! You are just an illusion that I imagine day and night!  You block my ways and interrupt my healing, I was fine alone- atoned! I was fine in a cage where I locked myself!  I was an obedient prisoner there!  But, why do you need to screw me by making me feel your racing heartbeat?!  Your heartbeats say they belong to me! You still love me! A decade after it will still beat for me!  I want to end this endless psychological warfare,  You are everywhere yet nowhere,  I search for you in every person I meet,  I look for the same attributes,  You should go away from my mind and heart,  But, how do I ward off these sentiments  when only you t...

 The divine sound of your heartbeat lingers with me in my heart, It only belongs to me, As you own my heart... Did you feel my heartbeat too in those brief moments? Did you? Did you recognize how much I love you? Did you? Did you see it through my eyes? How a river of tears flowed from those after seeing you? I couldn't believe it, I still can't, You were present in front of my eyes, I could touch you- For a brief period of time  and it was as if for eternity! Those brief moments will stay with me for eternity! As if a thousand decades of longings revived, As if decade long thirst and quest is finished when your lips touched mine, As if you have crossed thousand of years and miles only to reach my lips, As if I have been depriving myself from the sweetness of love, From touch of your holy hands for centuries .... As if I have been lost for decades then I refound myself in you! Oh, my sighs! Oh, my regrets! Oh, my fault! The fault in our misaligned stars! How can I ask you from...

 I wish I could preserve your eyes, your looks, your gaze into my jewels,  I wish no single tear drop sheds from your beautiful eyes,  But.........! Do you know one theory about beautiful eyes?!  The most beautiful eyes cries the most,  Dreadful cries,  Earth-cracking cries,  They shout in pain and loss and griefs,  Yes, eyes do have voice and It's rain!  Yes, eyes do have love and It's gain!  Eyes do have a tale of longing and separation,  Eyes do speaks a ton when words don't know how to be speculated,  Eyes speaks tales of a decades,  A decade long separation and a forever kind of love,  Why do the lover girl seeks so much?!  Why does she notice so much?!  Why must she read between the lines and read souls?! Read destiny's whispers?!   Why must she look into otherwise?!  Why can't she look away and forget?!  A burden of grief is sitting heavily on her chest!  Why must she recogniz...

 Stay my unrequited love my love,  Once pure always remains pure,  Don't get filtrated among the others,  Don't come close,  Don't come in contact,  Cause, I am addictive and you won't forget me for the next three decades and lifelong! Don't come close,  Don't cross the borders,  I don't want you to! You are the albatross who shall fly high,  You are my little secret that I hide, I know I can't undo anything nor can I forget you,  Your heartbeat is replaying in my brain,  My prefrontal cortex is governed by your shadows.  My subconscious is ruled by your sweet memories,  Sweet kisses, and gentle strokes,  The way you used to call me 'Fairy'  Is playing in a loop in my head,  You live inside my unconsciousness.  Consciously I try to repress your warmth, Your height,  Your enormous muscle weight, yet you are so light!  Light in demeanour,  Soft in tone,  And, your softened eyes! Oh, ho...

I am a Jew in Love...  A wanderer punished by the God  I could not obey, Cast into deserts of thirst because  my tongue refused The Manna and Salwa  He poured from the heavens. I hungered for another taste.... Your mouth, not his mercy. And for that sin, I was exiled. I am a Jew in love... Cursed to roam in the burning sand of your absence, My skin cracking like ancient parchment, Each wound a scripture rewritten by longing. Even God turned his face from me, For I worshipped your shadow instead of his throne. I am a Jew in love.... Rejecting his celestial bread, His divine quail, Because nothing holy ever fed me the way your body once did... Salt of your collarbone, Honey of your inner wrists, Heat between your fingers where I buried my prayers, my beliefs, How could Manna ever compete with that? I am a Jew in love... Punished for confusing your darkness with revelation, For choosing the ecstasy of forbidden flesh over the discipline of heaven. So he sent me wande...

  A Dream of the Lost Archer     Psyche drifts in a twilight garden, Where roses bloom black as midnight and rivers run silver with moonlight. She walks barefoot, The soil was soft and warm beneath her trembling feet, But the air is sharp, scented with longing. Ahead, a shadow moves...a flicker of gold. Her heart catches. Her breath shards like broken glass. It is he. Cupid. But not the god she remembers. He is taller, darker, Wings half-burned,  Eyes carrying the weight of centuries. He does not speak. He does not touch. He only tilts his head. And in that glance, She feels every stolen kiss. Every arrow fired, Every pulse of desire that once made worlds tremble. A wind rises. The black roses bow. The silver river swirls, And when Psyche reaches for him, He fades into light. Becoming a constellation in the shape of a broken bow. A whisper rides the wind: “We were never meant to touch again, But, you(Pysche) will always carry my fire.” Psyche wakes, Her ches...