Alone


Who told you that I want to live my own life and leave you?

Who told you that I want to separate myself in the blink of an eye

and go to opposite bays surrounded by solitude?

I always wanted to build a home with you. 

But you never meant to be! 

You couldn’t be my home. 

You couldn’t ensure my safety and sanity! 

My home became a jail with you. 

My mind became a slave. 

My life is entangled with your melodramas. 

My reliance became pawned. 

I had to lose you to find me. 

I had to leave you in search of myself! 

I wish you could think of being a part of mine. 

But, no, you wanted to assimilate and 

Dissolve me into your impurities. 

Forgetting that I am ever divine, 

Not made for shiny pearls, so clandestine. 

But I could become your tangy clementine. 

Sour but sweet, 

You sucked all the goodness inside of me. 

Whatever's left, I don't want to share it anymore. 

Every time I share my kindness with anyone,

I get betrayed. 

Every time I try to linger on, I get swayed away! 

Every time I think of an 'us,' it ends up becoming 'only me.' 

Every time I think of a 'team,' it always grows to be a 'one-man army', 

Alas! Some people are better alone. 

A lonely rider, 

Some are singular and particularistic, 

Not many can keep up the pace with them. 

Sometimes, it's better to shred armor alone! 

©® Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy

July 2023, University of Dhaka

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

শিল্পীর মৃত্যু

Image
  কবি ফারহিন আক্তার ভূঁইয়া ন্যান্সি জন্মেছেন মরুভূমির দেশ আমিরাতের ফুজেরার দিব্বা শহরে। বাবা ফজলুল হক ভূঁইয়ার চাকুরি সূত্রে দুবাইতে অবস্থান করেছেন অর্ধেক জীবন। ফারহিন ন্যান্সি , দেশে এসে পড়াশুনা করছেন বর্তমানে , ঢাকা বিশ্ববিদ্যালয়ের সমাজবিজ্ঞান বিভাগের স্নাতকোত্তর পর্যায়ে। ছোটবেলা থেকে লেখালেখির সাথে সম্পৃক্ত কবির বেশ কয়টি লেখা কবিতা প্রকাশিত হয়েছে বিভিন্ন পত্র - পত্রিকা , লিটয় ম্যাগাজিনগুলো এবং সংকলনে। ইউএসএইড ২০১৯ - এ সেরা পঞ্চাশ গল্পরচিয়তার মধ্যে স্থান পেয়েছেন। এছাড়াও , বিশ্ববিদ্যালয়ের সাহিত্য সাময়িকীসহ , ব্লগে নিয়মিত লেখেন। বাংলা - কবিতা ডটকমে বেশ সরব ছিলেন। দেশ্মাতৃকাকে ভালোবেসে , দেশ ও মাটির মানুষের জন্যে উনি গভীর অন্তর্দৃষ্টি দিয়ে দর্শনসমৃদ্ধ কবিতা রচয়ন করেন। মানুষের মুক্তি ও উত্তরণ তার লেখালেখির উদ্দেশ্য।                   শিল্পীর মৃত্যু                   ...
Read more

Ache in my body

Image
  My lips ache as if they want to be bitten  and smitten in your love and admiration. My hips swirl in ache as if they want to twirl  around you, dance in motion. My heart is in ache as if it doesn't know where   it belongs, to whom, My eyes are in pain, they are numb and sore. They say your eyes are beautiful like droplets of dews, Like diamonds in the sky. But, only a few knows how much tears it shed, Shed like an ocean. I have cried in pain like a destitute losing all her belongings, I have cried in pain like a beggar begging for an alms of love and warmth. I have cried like a Jew, a refugee Muslim for a bit of shelter in a foreign land, I have cried like a blind person for a bit of compassion and an ounce of aid. I have cried and whimpered in pain like an impaired person for quick recovery, I have cried like an infant hungry for love and needing to cling to somebody. I have cried an ocean for my lost ones whom I loved dearly, I have cried in agony, realizing...
Read more

Cyber Colonialism

Image
  We are now trapped in the waves of 'Cyber-Colonialism',  The watchdogs are watching us,  We are under the 'Juju' of the 'Reikies' consuming us,  Yes, indeed, we are also consuming what they are feeding us,  The unseen wires have draped us, We can't utter a word against them,  We are monitored,  We can't spread  dictation as the dictators are dictating us- through cyber binoculars,  Where they can prevent any portrayals different from them,  Where they pick their secret 'bot armies' and influencers handing over fame,  Only for them to be the handlers of the fate, Fate of mass people,  People who will believe what they say,  People who will do what they inspire them to do -whatever they have conspired in the closed doors, People will rise, People will die, People will loose hope, People will flee, People will gather,  People will be displaced, People will be lost, People will be punished for speaking their truth!...
Read more