Burnt hopes



You were so good as a vacation, But, 

Not so good to remain as a daily habit,

You became my holiday in Moonsoon but not a routine,

You couldn't be involved in my daily life as you were so indifferent to me,

Yet, you were a blessing in disguise, you appeared at the most precious time,

I needed care, I needed love, I craved warmth,

But, all I got was an intruder,

I found my love in the wrong place and invested in the wrong person,

All I got was heartbreak and mistrust,

Now, I forgot the definition of love,

I don't need it anymore,

Now, I am strong and boldly I appear,

Constructing an individualistic identity separated from you was necessary,

But, amidst these, I lost the spark, I lost the gem- I forgot how to be passionate in love, 

How to reciprocate love, how to forgive and love,

Day by day, I remain aloof, 

I remain lonely surrounded by gloominess,

Yes, I move around, I dine alone, I hang out, I buy groceries,

But, somewhere in between, there is a hole,

A feeling of nothingness, why don't I feel happiness doing things all my own? 

Is it reminiscing about you? or imagining you with me in my daily chores?

Why do I remember you when I am alone?

And, why do I need tasks, people, and distractions to suppress my feelings for you?

You were my all reasons, you were my sunshine,

Why is it so difficult to replace you?

Why do I see your face, and your attributes in everyone I meet?

What do I search for in people's sad eyes?

Possibly, You?

Yes, Once I built a home with you, its ashes now, 

All my passions and hopes are also burnt down with the home. 


-Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy

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