Deja Vu

 


I think I know how my life is going to end-

This is my life and the horror movie will on go in a loop, go on and on, 

The memories will play back and will be always recycled -

The wounds and haunts won't go, 

I think I know it all- 'Deja Vu', 

I have seen it before, 

Encountered it all,

I am standing still with all the cuts, hurts and grits, still smiling back to my foes, 

They know a part of me- 

Rest is burried- unknown! 

I know reading my sad poetry makes them chime in happiness seeing my woes, 

I know after knowing about my tragedies most will satisfy their ego- 

And, here, I sit down- in prayers wishing for a loving life that I never had or might never acclaim so! 

As if I have known it all along, 

A deprived soul lacking love will never find it, 

A craving soul who only craves love and greeds for it will never find it, 

A wandering soul stuck into doubts and worries; too busy dissecting each emotions will never find love- cause she knows, 

Nobody will dare to attempt to put back the broken pieces they never broke! 

A curse that you carry in each lifetime- you will reap what you sow!

So, after knowing this, what happens when you truly embrace yourself?!

As I cannot become this and that and that and so forth,

So, I chose to become myself-

The most authentic self, 

The genuine one which is not fabricated, 

As I couldn't become someone else,

I bravely became just myself!

Bluntly, entirely, brutally- my true self!


©® Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy 

Time Frame: 4 am, Mirpur Cantonment. 

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