2015


 I am crying my heart out, 

My lungs screaming and whimpering in agony. 

After a decade, I am crying loud for you like a new born child ushered into the world. 

You know Adam?!

I don't like the new. 

I am good with the old. 

I like old town, 

Old watches, 

Old scrolls, 

Old classics and 

Old you!

I wanted to grow old with you.

But, you know my hair is turning grey without you.

You know I am suffering. 

Suffering without you-

In regrets, in guilt and loneliness. 

I know I can never find someone like you. 

I wish if learning this lesson was enough for the God in heavens to return you to me.

God, tell Adam that Eve has learnt to value memories.

How can I remove you out my system?!

You are my most favourite person. 

I never loved shallow. 

Oh, I still deeply immensely love you. 

Now, in loss of a limb, I cry and whimper like a dog in midnight,

Crawling in my bed, 

Pouring my heart into this neverending pain and disaster, 

Oh, I was a fool in love to lose you in another's hand! 

I know there is no returning back. 

I know you are all settled.

My deathbed is a gift from you for me, 

I will die in memory of yours slowly and silently.

No one will know my cause of death. 

It is you- Adam. 

I cannot take this separation.

For how long?!

Ten years have passed. 

More decades to go.

Can you sleep peacefully in your bed without thinking of me too?!

I am crying my lungs out for you, 

Like an astray dog in midnight with no one around,

I am roaming around like a dog in search of you.

Trying to smell your fragrance in roadside foods. 

I have become a dog in longing of you! 

A sick dog, whimpering and crying in the suffocation of losing you. 

I cannot breath.

I cannot breath. 

I cannot breath.

My heart is stoping pumping blood in the veins that used to run for you.

There is no oxygen. 

No hopes. 

I am dying slowly and gradually. 

Nobody will know the reason were you! 

A woman's heart silently holds many secrets in seclusion, 

But, I am exposing those. 

My heart wants to ink your name in every prose, every rhyme I write because I want to keep records of your love, 

How pure you were!

How genuine is your love! 

I want the world to know Eve loved the finest man!

An unrequited love to be remembered for centuries to come!

Now, she is enjoying her slow burn. 

A deathbed is arranged for her to embrace lonely nights. 

It's her lot to die. 

A popular loner in the crowd 

awaiting trials.

How do I forget the burden of the memories?!

Memories of losing you in another's hand?!

Losing myself in another's wrist?! 

I was locked. 

You were too. 

I am freed,

But, you are not. 

But, why do I keep feeling you?!

You are so distant far away yet so close to me.

Because, you reside in my heart, 

There is no other place for you to go. 

I am still stuck in 2015,

Probably, you are too!



©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy 

Timestamp: 3.03 am, Tagar


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