Writer's own thoughts!

The sadness in my eyes has numbed the empathy towards the pain of the collective.  I no longer read the unspoken words of the kid lying beside the highway beneath the foot over bridge, I don't translate the language of hunger and try to reach them.  I have become numb. I don't understand the silence of homeless people who are always looking for a meaning in their rootless lives,  I don't recall their cries for help.  Who are counting stars with an empty stare.  I no longer feel deep for them.  I think my grief and loneliness has made me shallow.  I have grown into a stoic carefree person.  But, did I ever want to be like this?! A stern mountain with a calm demeanour?!  My heart has become an alter of only one echo. I remember the day when my heart was broken.  When it was pierced fiercely with no swords but shields....What was meant to protect attacked me. A shield if wielded to wrong hands can rip apart. It frightens me- this digression...

 Now you know,  The permanent damage that you've done. They call it survival,  But, I named it silence.  A disease called- incapable of love.  No physician can give prescription on it, No laboratory can discover the reason beneath it. The diagnosis report arrives late after the predator leaves the marks,  Only after the heart forgets the weather of warmth.  Not because love doesn’t knock on the door,  But, because the door is permanently locked.  All callings go in vain,  Doorbell keeps ringing, but no one answers.  Until the hands of lover bleeds.  But, is there anyone who is ready to wait and bleed?!  The symptoms are quite subtle: Eyes that avoids affection and mistakes softness as danger,  Hands that retract from gentleness as if infatuation is a burning fire. Pulses intensifies only at the footsteps of departure.  Then?! A quiet grief spirals back from head to toe,  A relief follows.  I dodged a bu...

The cockroach did not know that evolution never taught humans to befriend it, And, It didn’t learn to hide. It approached towards me not with an intention of hurting me,  But it approached swiftly not with venom but six hesitant feet, and two trembling antennae, That shook its head with an unspeakable greeting.  Perhaps, it thought proximity was the beginning of a new friendship.  It came near to me, close to my ears as if it wanted to whisper some tea, and spill some secrets. But, I turned away in disgust. It ran into my feet, with its polished shell and  offered me a glittery smile. The smile of a being who has never been loved, Yet arrives with a fading hope that someday someone will love and accept it as it is!! I did not ask, why it was here! Neither did I bother to wonder- if my fear was valid to kill a being, a living creature?! And, me as a human,  I only remembered parts of everything I ever inherited-  The fear, The disgust,  The pollution, A...

There was an ocean within me once, It was deep,blue,wide. In that deep blue ocean- Tides shone so bright, Faith precipitated as salt- it tasted sweet until all flavours faded away, Beneath the ebbs and tides- a love formed on the aisles!  Between a mermaid and a whale! As if fated union. A canon of fire blew right in front of the invisible castles of doubts, as if something lingering is yet to happen, Just then the missiles of hope were thrown away in despair and desperation! As if a parade of mockery will show on the day!  A love formed so immeasurable that was one of a kind! Then an imposter came in a disguise of a storm in my calm ocean to stir waves! Without any noise, without any declaration of warfare, He attacked my sails. In the deepest blue of the sea, He devoured every ounce of love alive in me. Just like a giant blue whale, he ended me. In his big stomach lie my vows, My vanity- my erroneous sanctity! The big appetite of his left me scouring for any insanity! In the...

In knowing you, little by little, I cannot deny,  That the flaw was not in your nature but in the culture in making of you- that shaped you, how you act, how you behave.  It couldn’t be unseen. Only after all this accumulating time, did I understand the depth of the cultural decay horrendously affecting you.  A spectacle so repellent,  So, unattractive that stirs only revulsion.  Problem upon problem,  One issue after another,  As if an endless trope of shortcomings- a legacy of neglect, a culture that repulses the beloved.  And, since you have come across my path,  Standing on the crossroads, I can feel a fierce disdain within me for you.  Contempt for the cultural atmosphere that made you a tyrant- a shallow scallop.   I strongly detest it with all my might,  I feel the abhorrence not only for you but the culture that shaped you.  ©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Timespan: 15th july, 2026, Mirpur Cantonment.