Qadar-Written in Sky not in Stones

They say you were written-

In the arsh of the grey bluish sky, 

In the stagnant dying constellation, 

In the blueprint of a churning star, 

Amidst the living and the dead-

In my fate-

Before the angels could trade, 

Or, the demons could blame, 

Fifty thousand years ago-

When the bone met dust and flesh mixed with  clay turning auburn red-

Like a deadly reddish sunrise-

Or, mourning sunset,

The stars started to decay-

Just like your soul after entwining with mine,

Instead of singing, we outburst into raging rain,

In the endearing desert of deserted longings-

I could only pray for true destined love-

That may find me-

In the wake of storm,

Amidst quite chaos, 

In the noise of cities,

An emblem of urbanite classic music,

Echoes through the fortress of doubts,

That I built over years,

May that stone walls fall down,

The cautious presence of acute nihilism, 

May love find me just like feathers catches the old fragrance of the archival journal, 

May love find me just like dried rose petals finds its way back in the novella eroded in cliche soliloquies! 

May love feel like anything- silvery amber, prudent silk or eccentric ocean waves but not anymore survival,

But, who are you, oh my heart's silent petition?

Where are you, my yearning destination?

Under which treatise and sanctions?!

Are you written in stone, or plight?!

Pellucid archetype?! 

Or,perhaps, your name is engraved in the egyptian sculptures portrayed in red and black and white,

Was it a sin, or  salvation or a retreat to return to myself- to be able to find you, 

'The primal man'- The paleolithic ensign?! 

Perhaps, if only our paths crossed-

Wonders could happen!

Who knows how many oceans and meadows and continents, I need to cross to meet you in the borderlands! 

How many centuries shall pass for Hawa to meet her Adam!

For, how many years do I need to bleed like them?!

Bleed in bones, in ashes, in soul,

In spirits, in nightmares!

For how many tests shall I pass to belief that there is someone worth waiting for,

A legendary crescent! 

Not owned by fate, not circumcised  by circumstances, not even clutched by the clutches of the magnanimous giants of our time, 

Fiercely independent! 

I have been walking on a saint like journey so lonely and peaceful all at a time! 

In hope of meeting you one day-

My saint like other half whom I idealize and sometimes fantasize! 

My guilty pleasure-

My silent prayers-

My puzzled mind and complex heart knows-

You are there! You will arive! I will therefore thrive! 

Thrive in love, 

Where each flower will blossom, 

When each spring will bring memoir,

And, dandelions will wink at me, 

They will whisper in my ears,

Time is yours now- Enjoy! 



©® Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy

Time Frame: 10.06 pm, MIST, Mirpur Cantonment, Dhaka-1216. 

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