Complex

 Day by day, 

The complex I am becoming,

A paradox hardly to be read, 

And, hard to comprehend, 

Day to day, 

I am becoming a hard nut to crack,

A hard code to block, 

An astronaut to be dissolved into the space! 

Day by day, 

I do not understand the jumbling words coming from my mind- it is joggled and all bottled up, 

The string is stringed into stringent content-

Looming over and looped into luminous layers!

I think I am not understandable, 

Or, reachable, or commendable, 

For I am too strong for the feign hearted, 

And, too weak for the strongest performers, 

Peace is within me, so is chaos, 

I rumble across the thin line of those, 

I fumble on the thumbs of gambling decors, 

The records of concealments, 

Disguised under allure alludes my vanity-

Oh, how to surrender my trust-

The depth of unreckoned, 

Recked and rampaged through,

With an unreckoning force- unprecedented and in undertone, 

Taken by and turnished upside down, 

I do feel unlovable sometimes, 

But, now I am sure, 

Of who can love me, and who can not! 

Those with a golden heart, and a broadened mind, 

Those who can see beyond-

Beyond the grey zones, 

Those who don't move in by the crack down of hell and heavens, 

Who don't blink their eye on the fights of god and demons.

Well, I can be loved by a man or two-

A man of honor, and a man of glamour, 

But, whom will I choose?! 

I would like to choose the man of honor-

For he can give me what I desire-

The honor that was once in a loot!

Placed in a game-

Uprooted but not displaced, 

Migrated but not forsaken,

Binded strongly with the bonds of pledge and oaths, 

Yes, my dear, A man of honor can see my worth! 

©® Farheen Bhuiyan Nancy 

Time Frame: 3.03 pm, MIST, Mirpur Cantonment, Dhaka-1216.