Longings

 


A softness enters in my soul like sparkling lights entering through thick curtains, 

Bringing warmth where once cold logics used to reign, 

The urge of control fades, 

Replaced with connection,

Longing for a deep soul entrenching authentic one, 

The genuine rays of sun beaming through my existence.

I want someone to drop my armor, 

I am exhausted of fighting alone, 

Drop my defence and calm me, 

Sooth me, 

And, make me his valuable possession! 

Not a puppet but adorable puppy, 

Not a concubine but a queen, 

Not a slave but a rider, 

A partner in crime and heavenly goodness, 

Nourish my thirsty soul with your authenticity, 

Where will I find the rarest of all?!

The kindest of all? And, the bravest?!

I want to see your vulnerability, 

I want to know you and touch your scars before you touching mine.

I want to explore your subconscious, 

Unconscious, id, ego, super-ego,

Know all of your different forms of persona! 

Conquer all through my feminity!

Promise me there ain't any fallacies, 

No phonies, 

No meekness in between, 

Cause, I am an armored warrior, 

I can crash all advances if I see any misleads!

For too long the exterior had been cold, 

Full proofed- say bullet-proofed, 

For too long the soul was aching,  

A tireless worker with stoic glance, 

Lost my warmth, 

Lost my charm in my eyes, 

Through which I used to love, 

I lost my loving glance, 

Love glass through which I used to see the magic in the world! 

Save me prince from the melancholy of despair, 

Save me from the burning, 

Shield me from every pain I've ever endured, 

Protect me in your arms from the cruel world. 

Will you?! 

Softening is not a weakness I guess It's wisdom, 

I want to soften my heart, open it for you, 

Only if you show who me you are!

Clear the fog, 

The fog of confusion, 

Fog of hesitation, 

Uncertainty and unclarities, 

Pierce me with your truth!

Vulnerability can be attractive if intentions are pure! 

Show me how pure you are, 

How pure your thoughts can be and I'll let you in, 

Let you in- in my shrine and let the spark shine,

Not always softness do erase boundaries, 

Let me see how you respect those!

Breathing this new air, 

Something is novel in it,

Maybe I am falling, 

Falling for my fallen angel, 

Come, get me out of this hell!


©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy 

Time Frame: 2.34 pm, Mirpur -12. 

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