Scared of Destiny....

Scared of destiny after losing you...

What if destiny has a crooked plan to betray me?

What if I lose the best I have as I lost the best I had?

You were my soulmate—my childhood love faded with my innocence,

Will I ever find love again?

Will he understand me like you did?

Will he be my calm in the chaos like you were?

Will he adore me like you did?

Or will I repay karma?

Thousand times I have asked for forgiveness,

When will your Ruh forgive me and let me go?

Let me be free of burdens!

Did you pray that may I get everything all I want, but not true love?! Not again after you?!

Did you say to God to make me a loner forever?

I too pray to the same God!

I ask for abundance for you,

I seek forgiveness.

God loves me too just you had.

If possible reverse the state.

If not then let me go from your love and erase me from your memories,

Your silent prayers block my ways. 

Now I don't want to get defeated by fate,

The same one who made me sway,

Now I want to control the destiny so that it doesn't control me anymore,

God,

Prayers and hymns,

Prostrations and silent zhikirs,

In every lafz I ask your and his forgiveness.

Let me be me,

Let me love and live,

Let me be free of my guilty conscience.

But, you too are at fault to let me go away!

Let me depart from you so easily!

You are too at fault! 

Where was your obsession and compulsion?

I needed a tight hug and a bit of sermon, 

A bit of extra effort...

You gave up on me so easily, 

But, I know you can never love another! 

How could you?!

Oh, A man must be stronger, kinder and obsessive than her mate,

Oh, a man must be so possesive and powerful enough to keep her safe,

Oh, damn regret! A man must be more secured emotionally and socially than his woman,

To cling with her, to protect her, to be with her at all stage.

Oh a man must be strong psychologically and emotionally to bind his woman,

To make her his forever and not regret, To treasure her like love has no ends.

He must be more in love than the woman.


©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy 

Time Frame: 1.11 am, MIST, Mirpur Cantonment


নোট: যে খোদাকে তুমি ডাকো, তাকে ডাকি আমিও.... 

খোদা কার ডাক শুনে দেখার পালা.... 

মুক্ত একদিন হব আমিও....

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

শিল্পীর মৃত্যু

Image
  কবি ফারহিন আক্তার ভূঁইয়া ন্যান্সি জন্মেছেন মরুভূমির দেশ আমিরাতের ফুজেরার দিব্বা শহরে। বাবা ফজলুল হক ভূঁইয়ার চাকুরি সূত্রে দুবাইতে অবস্থান করেছেন অর্ধেক জীবন। ফারহিন ন্যান্সি , দেশে এসে পড়াশুনা করছেন বর্তমানে , ঢাকা বিশ্ববিদ্যালয়ের সমাজবিজ্ঞান বিভাগের স্নাতকোত্তর পর্যায়ে। ছোটবেলা থেকে লেখালেখির সাথে সম্পৃক্ত কবির বেশ কয়টি লেখা কবিতা প্রকাশিত হয়েছে বিভিন্ন পত্র - পত্রিকা , লিটয় ম্যাগাজিনগুলো এবং সংকলনে। ইউএসএইড ২০১৯ - এ সেরা পঞ্চাশ গল্পরচিয়তার মধ্যে স্থান পেয়েছেন। এছাড়াও , বিশ্ববিদ্যালয়ের সাহিত্য সাময়িকীসহ , ব্লগে নিয়মিত লেখেন। বাংলা - কবিতা ডটকমে বেশ সরব ছিলেন। দেশ্মাতৃকাকে ভালোবেসে , দেশ ও মাটির মানুষের জন্যে উনি গভীর অন্তর্দৃষ্টি দিয়ে দর্শনসমৃদ্ধ কবিতা রচয়ন করেন। মানুষের মুক্তি ও উত্তরণ তার লেখালেখির উদ্দেশ্য।                   শিল্পীর মৃত্যু                   ...
Read more

Deconstructed love

Image
 This breath is century old- the chilling breeze in the bridge, All the bright stars are covered in silver clouds, I have come across a long way- a long way before any of the bridges were built, Everything was meant to melt away like the snow in my hands near the fireplace, I have run in the woods before, I sang the love song earlier before the morning birds chirped, Will my eyes be tired of seeing the endless beauty that these mornings offer? Will my soul be worn out at the peace of such bliss? Love was never meant to be in partiality but it is, It is not wholesome like the solitary mornings, Even the brightest of all the shades fades away in the cruelest noon, The freezing vibes get itchy, But it's at the sunset point after the foggy morning when we meet at the cleared alley, Before that, every bridge has to be burnt that we have crossed, Before that, every soul should die before we become the awakened one! The falsehood of self portrayed by us in various temporalities,  Bef...
Read more

Cyber Colonialism

Image
  We are now trapped in the waves of 'Cyber-Colonialism',  The watchdogs are watching us,  We are under the 'Juju' of the 'Reikies' consuming us,  Yes, indeed, we are also consuming what they are feeding us,  The unseen wires have draped us, We can't utter a word against them,  We are monitored,  We can't spread  dictation as the dictators are dictating us- through cyber binoculars,  Where they can prevent any portrayals different from them,  Where they pick their secret 'bot armies' and influencers handing over fame,  Only for them to be the handlers of the fate, Fate of mass people,  People who will believe what they say,  People who will do what they inspire them to do -whatever they have conspired in the closed doors, People will rise, People will die, People will loose hope, People will flee, People will gather,  People will be displaced, People will be lost, People will be punished for speaking their truth!...
Read more