Sighs

We will live as sighs in each other's lives. 

You will keep ruminating me, 

Same shall I. 

You will always remember my rosy cheeks and smile, 

I will always remember your modest attires with calm demeanour. 

And, ofcourse your broadened smile. 

Your eyes shine when you would smile. 

You didn’t ever touch me with your hands.

But, you touched my soul with your patience and intents. 

Oh, so pure was your love! 

In search of gold I lost the diamond! 

In dillusional collusions, I lost intentious love and infatuation! 

You were my one and only! 

But, god knows what demons caught me! 

A catfish trapped in the net got awakened in the barbaric time. 

I now look for you in mirrors and shadows,

In sunsets and waves, 

In moonlit nights. 

Nowhere you are! 

Nowhere you are! 

Nowhere you are! 

Sighs! 

A long sigh! 

Will my sighs ever reach you?!

Would they ever cover the distance and regions?!

Would you ever forget me?!

Tell me Adam, promise me, 

You won't forget me ever! 

I don't need a closure, 

I would love a revival as pure as your arrival. 

Free as bird, 

As breeze. 

Free without any chains you will lock my fingers in yours. 

I crave your touch of finger tips, 

My toes keep tanglings with yours in imaginations.

My lips touching yours as if thirsty for a century.

Dried heart, 

Dried mind, 

Dried soul, 

A deserted desert. 

I have uprooted the plant of love that I've sown. 

I have killed the mockingbrid that used to sing for us. 

I haven’t even spare the sparrow who would bring love letters- convey your love. 

I have denied the spark. 

Now, your eyes are a corridor of nightmare. 

Mine are blackhole. 

I swallow whatever comes to me, 

Then, there is no return.

I swallow hatered, jeolosy, apathy, guilt, regrets. 

I swallow humiliations and incubations. 

I swallow sufferings like joy. 

I swallow everything except love. 

My soul rejects any other love unlike yours on the first page, declines it with a full stop. 

I have come across a long trial and trail of subtle lanes. 

They revealed uneven destinations. 

Journeys that were never meant to be taken, 

Routes never to be adopted, 

Tours never to be taken,

Roads never to be seen. 

Still, I have rotated around the circle repeatedly. 

Reportedly, it was a long mistake and I should have deported myself from the wrong passageway. 

A detour is better than fatal death. 

But, I have died. 

My soul is dead, so is my happiness. 

My eyes are dead, they don't speak of love anymore. 

My body is dead, they don't get thrilled for temporal adventures.  

All temporalities are dissolved in your permanent love. 

I wish this permanence would stay. 

Any reconciliation would lock you forever with me without interventions. 

A lovestory written in fated stardusts- is assimilated into dust now. 

Still, my skeletons will take your name in the graveyard, 

In my final breaths I will utter before the death angel,  I love you. 

I have loved you for a thousand years! 

Unite me in death. 

Unite me with him in next life, 

In afterlife. 

The mist of the night dews are catching my breath, 

I cannot breath, still with a heavy heart I call upon the flashy moon to hold my spine. 

The final urges- to see your moon face and hold you close to my heart. 

Hold your moon face in my palms, 

Stroke your beard with affection and desire. 

Gently, give you smooches for you to carry for another three decades. 

Slowly absorb you like a sunset. 

Oh, my rising beacon of hope, 

How could I dismiss your love and go to early demise?! 

I have been dead since then.

A living corpse living a coarse life.

©® Farheen Akter Bhuian Nancy 

Timestamp: 1.01 am, Tagar