Leaving home early

 You want to leave home early, pal...

But, do you know, once you leave home,

 You can never enter as a homebody there twice.

You'll just attend.

Attend your home on vacations, on occassions but never to stay.

And, do you even realize, how many homes you will have to create away from home?

You will now fall into a mission of building a home - to carry a part of yourself everywhere you go,

It will be an oddly strenuous lifelong process. 

You will crave home inside a home you live in.

You will build a home in distant lands full of strangers.

By then, you learn to trust the strangers.

You will get to know that you were all alone from the very beginning.

Everyone saw your rise and fall and then ascension, and now you recognize the pattern.

Gradually, you are waiting for another fall in seasons.

Perhaps, not all seasons bring hopes of spring,

Perhaps, that's the diversity of nature.

Like seasons, our mood changes quickly from autumn to summer,

Summer to monsoon and spring to winter.

Perhaps, you are waiting for monsoon to drench you in the colors of rain.

You are waiting for shelter in that stormy rain.

You have survived cyclones, 

Hurricanes and thunders- all alone,

You are now immuned of storms and currents,

Yet, you expect a warm hand, not to pick you up

 but to understand how long it took to reach the saturation point. 

Perhaps, you are waiting for that one person whom you can call home,

Who can understand you beyond words, affirmations and solve the perplexities within you.

Perhaps, you can then rest in peace.

Perhaps, home is a person who has depth and foundation.

A base of morality and built-in strong character,

Who can comfort you with words, positive thoughts and hope,

If you can't be soft, vulnerable, and safe, then how do you reside in it?

Perhaps,  that kinda home is still far away. 

Where beautiful thoughts would bloom as flowers.

Edition: Where beautiful  thoughts would bloom as flowers.

And, I would love to nourish the flowers on the front base. ( Prefrontal Cortex)

Perhaps, that sort of garden is yet to harvest.

My home?! 

I don't know where it is,

Still, figuring out.


©® Farheen Akter Bhuian (Nancy)

Time Frame: 1.30 pm, CDT, Lubbock, TX


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